Help me finish my Story!

For those that don't know how this works; here's a little insight.

Finish my story is a forum/internet game, where the starter posts a segment of a sentence, followed by '...'. Then, the next person to post; finishes the sentence, beginning with '...'. Using this sequence, we create a little story. It can be as random, zaney, and crazy as we want it to be, with no limits, as long as it doesn't break the forum rules of course.

And just to keep it interesting, you have to wait either 24 hours after last post, or not have posted a beginning/end to a sentence in the past two sentences...for example

Good : Tenchi, Chaney, Urias, Tenchi

Bad: Tenchi, Chaney, Tenchi

I'll start.

On one summer's afternoon, Bob and Jane were going ...

...to have sex,however they decided to see what would happen if .......

...they used balloons instead of condoms...

However, bob had an unknown latex allergy and...

his penis began to swell to a disproportionate size...

....Getting Janes hopes up as .....

.. she had been repeatedly disappointed by his small ...

...hat, which her mother had given him for last years...

...national teddy bear hunt final...

......where he discovered that is father......

...was not the man Mr.Darcy had claimed he was....

....but was actually a woman that.....

......was once a man, who changed his.....

... name from ...

....BoB to....

.....Mrs Darcy and.....

....discovered that he owned a very large.....

...Massy Fergusson tractor. Obviously this came as a shock and he imemdiately decided to...

...turn it into a small...

...multipurpose pump...

to enlarge his already allergy-enhanced penis; leading to...

...leading to what he would later call "the beast". Which...

....Is a mix between......

...Wolverine, The Incredible Hulk and a blueberry...

.......The beast could normally be found in and around......